The stuff you come up with while bored at work...

I wanted to have the roasted lamb at my best friend's wedding.
But it turned out they were out of it, so I had some nice beef steak.
After dinner we went to our rooms to check out the hotel bedding.
Jumping up and down the hotel bed, we finally caused it to break.

The hotel manager came up to tell us we would have to pay for it.
Since we had no money left on us, we ended up having to move out.
We walked on for hours, just trying to find a decent place to sit.
But I accidentally sat on a homeless guy and he let out a loud shout.

He wanted some form of compensation, he said I broke his leg.
I didn't know what else to do, so I let him run the show.
"Would you please pay the hooker down the street, I think her name is Meg.
Ask her to come right over here, and give me a nice blow."

So I talked to Meg, she said " Why not? As long as he doesnt have herpes."
She walked down to the homeless guy, and made the same sound as sipping slurpee.