It's not the first time I've thought about this, but if I was a Star Trek alien, I would probably be a Vulcan. That whole superficially emotionally distant persona is actually the vibe I tend to give out to people these days. In truth, it's not entirely by choice, but it's one of the symptoms that you get from moving around too much. You feel the need to hide your emotions because otherwise if you let it out you wouldn't be able to get anything done. There's a constant need for mental discipline, to not freak out when you realize you don't know where you're heading, what you'll be doing in a couple of months time, and who you're going to have to say goodbye to.
Unfortunately, the reality is such that you actually do get that well of emotion inside about certain things, certain places and certain people. Sometimes it doesn't even matter how briefly you've come across them. And it does corrode your mental resolve. That's why Vulcans go crazy every seven years with pon farr I suppose.
But all in all, I've got to say I've done a pretty good job keeping it from the surface so that most people don't see it. At times I'm a bit afraid of how good a job I do about it.
Regretably, I feel I've not done enough to keep in touch with old friends nor enough to get to know the new ones better. Frankly I don't completely understand why not, but it's become a habit (a poor one) nonetheless.
Yet in the end you miss them all the same.
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2 comments:
awwwww.. miss u too.. lolz.
poke ppl! it's the (very very very) least you can do... haha!
the more emotions you crammed inside the more likely you would burst one oh...
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