Sometimes it does feel like I'm trying too hard, and I also have a tendency to want to have my cake and eat it too. I'm hoping not to have a repeat of China-gate. I blew it the last time, this time there's a clear opportunity but I have to be really on the ball.
Then again, do I really want to try to pursue a career with the 'bad guys' if the possibility does really arise? The money's a lot more attractive, but would I feel comfortable working for them? I am in a way already doing so in an indirect way, but for now at least I can manage to strike a balance with my work. At least to the extent that my superiors will allow me to do so.
I guess I'm thinking too far ahead when I can't even see where the next step is. I gotta learn to not put the cart before the horse. I gotta learn how to take things one step at a time.
Then again, I've always been a dreamer.
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