Mega mendung di angkasa...

I found myself dancing in the shower with "Hujan" from Mukshin playing in my head.

Thanks Yasmin!

Seating arrangements...

In life it seems we like to play musical chairs.

We get up and keep walking when the music starts to play.

When the music stops, we usually end up in a different chair.

We might want to get back on the first chair we sat in, but often someone else has taken it.

Otherwise, if you manage to stay in the game long enough, the chair you wanted might get taken out of the game.

In the end, when you win you end up in a different chair than the original one you had planned to sit on.

And you're not quite sure if you're comfortable sitting in it, because there was something about the first one that you missed.

It smells of future regret...

The heart has fewer wishes, than what reason had prescribed.
Yet I heeded not the heart, but rather accepted reason's bribe.

To take is easy, to give...

Often I have found that I have managed to help others more than I have helped myself. I have shared opportunities with others who have now received even more of which I initially hoped to have as my own. It is a conflicting emotion, to help others who have not had to work as hard to get the things you yourself wanted before, and which they often take for granted when they have it.

Though the last thing that they have received may not be something you would have gotten in their place in any case, you feel a slight resentment for the ease at which they collect the fruits fallen from the tree you have spent hours climbing to seek the ones on the highest bow, and in trying to reach shook it so much that caused the coveted fruit, as well as the ones you passed on your way up, to fall to the floor.

There is temptation to abandon the values which have led you to doing what you've always considered to be 'the right thing'. Yet, to abandon such values would essential separate you from your current being of existence, and could only take you towards a path less virtuous that many thread yet journey unscathed. It confuses you that it could be so, for you've always believed that those pure of heart would always endure towards the end. Maybe they do endure, but not without a decent amount of suffering.

Often those who choose the other route do not have to face such suffering because they do not share what they have in plenty, whereas those who have little suffer because they share when they themselves have not.

Nevertheless, it brightens a part of you that you have helped someone more than you have helped yourself. At the very least you have lightened someone's burden. Though sometimes you wish someone would lighten yours. Because you grow weary, and the world is not always as kind to you as you are to them.

Cold-blooded...

The other day I was watching a documentary that was made about why a dolphin attacked a person, because people were perplexed as to why a kind, gentle and docile animal like the dolphin would ever attack a human being.

It's terribly sad that in the case where a fellow human being has been killed in my country, there is no need to ask such a question.

That stupid thing called love...

Pray for happiness of others,
That we wish we had ourselves.
Love as brothers and as sisters,
Our own feelings left and shelved.

Wait for smiles on weary faces,
For dimples form on rosy cheeks.
Take their hearts to happy places,
So their joy may last for weeks.

Hold a hand and dry a tear,
Give a hug when one's in need.
Whisper softly into ear,
"Don't be sad dear, do not weep."

Leave not those who had been left,
Hold them close, don't let them cry.
Even if your ears are deaf,
Listen close for silent sighs.

As their laughter fills the air,
You have done as good a job.
To give tender loving care,
You have helped to stop the sobs.

When you find they no longer need you,
You're obliged to set them free.
Though a sadness might befall you,
Deep inside you're filled with glee.

Selfless love's a silly thing,
For it's often not returned.
Yet the lonely heart still sings,
After being badly burned.

Optimistically cynical...

I think as people get older, as their insecurities start to creep up on them upon being ejected out into the real world, often the natural response is to be cynical about the future. To be of the opinion that whatever's outside is inherently bad and that no amount of optimism in life can change that fact.

There are of course, many things wrong with the way things are in the world today. But there are likely just as many things which are right. And there are also a lot of people willing to do what it takes to solve what is wrong so those things can be as close to being right as possible. Not a lot of people choose to hold the latter two views for a very long time.

It is a lot easier to see what is wrong and dismiss it. It is a lot harder to see what is wrong and try to fix it.

It is a lot easier to see what is right and dismiss it as a fluke. It is a lot harder to see what is right as the sum of the continued perseverance of those who chose not to give up.

At the end of the day, being cynical yet unwilling to do our own bit is essentially hypocritical. Being cynical but willing to do our bit will drive us insane eventually.

Being optimistic but unwilling to do anything makes one pretty annoyingly cheery. Being optimistic yet still willing to something makes one a bit brave but naive.

But if we're able to see what is wrong and right in front of us, make our best judgments in the next steps and consider carefully what lies ahead and beyond while keeping an optimistic outlook, then maybe, just maybe we will be able - to do it right.